Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Emotional Bank Account


I am a firm believer in trust and the emotional bank account. A brief explanation; you act with honesty and kindness over time, to develop trust and mutual respect with individuals. Then if the time comes that you may have a disagreement, you have a trust already existing, and assume positive intent from the other person while working on the issue together. I know this can sometimes be a nice concept, but difficult to practice. I normally choose the more positive high road when possible.

Last night a longtime friend and mentor blasted open what I thought was a well invested bank account. I was asked about a procedural issue, not my personal opinion, and offered advice I would give any of my volunteer constituents. The response I received was emotional, personal and not colored with any positives directed at me. I was basically called a "company man" and accused of scraping out all humanity from the situation. This hurt me very badly. The comments hurt because of the source and the 20+ year relationship I have with the individual, one I consider a close friend. To immediately go to the "company man" card was really inflammatory. I wanted to say, "have you paid attention to who I have been for twenty years, and do you think I would change overnight?" I was really hot over the comments, and probably was the cause for J to play on her iPad all night, since I was blowing off steam about the event. I ended the discussion on fairly friendly notes between my friend an me, but I am still bothered by the interaction.

I am left this morning with a review of why things got to that point. Am I too sensitive? Was the comment just an emotional blast that I took too seriously? I do not know, but I will commit to talking with my friend about how it made me feel. I will remain committed to my emotional bank account system, the plan has worked well most of the time, so no need to withdrawn my deposits. Look over the obscuring clouds, follow the light, and be a leader of positivity.

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