Napoleon

A small note to all folks in positions who have vendors, coworkers, peers that have to report to you. Be a professional, be a human. You can tell someone they need to improve their work without degrading. It never ceases to amaze me that small people in roles of any sort of power can love so much to berate instead of inspire a positive atmosphere. Being a jerk does not inspire the troops. Cutting people off who are trying to engage in progressive conversations just makes you sound more like an idiot. What do you do with yourself when you get home? How many times do you kick your dog?

OK, that's better. Just a minor vent. The new job is great, and this fella isn't one of us, we just had to survive him today on a conference call. One of my best coworkers said the vein in my head was fun to watch grow, so at least I could provide some entertainment! I can rest now.

:)

Monday, Monday

Monday, it is Monday of the most exciting, nerve wracking week in a long time. I’ve already posted my prayer for patience, and welcome any prayers you can spare. But this post goes out for my dear wife. I believe in her, and I know she has the strength to get through the next couple days, and weeks. For a woman, birth has to be one of the most, if not the most, harrowing experiences of her life. I know my wife has excitement, fear and joy for the upcoming days. She is a tough woman, and has persevered through her share of life lessons both good and bad and come out better for the experience. But, even the most confident, most prepared or most courageous person can have moments when they need support. J has prepared, studied, prayed and steeled herself for this week. The last 22 months have given her all the willpower and strength she needs to get this done. Not only has J prepared herself, but she has prepared me. I’ve read a couple books, spent time in the baby store learning about products, most of which I never knew existed. I have learned so much about J over the last two years. She will be a great Mother. I hope and pray that I can live up to her expectations over time. With pregnancies, the man has a purely supportive role, and I think I have done a good job at that. Now the rubber meets the road, with baby I’m not simply supportive, I am active. Finally, and thankfully, we are now at the point where we become responsible parents. Well, parents first, we will work to earn the responsible tag. There are no books on being responsible, well except for the Good Book. There are no “parent” police in the house to make sure you are a good parent. There is no way to plan for the midnight, tired, frazzled moments when you don’t know what to do with your child. In these times I will look to the toughness and perseverance that my wife has displayed as an example. I will try to remember how she handled this ordeal up to now, and do what needs done with love and humility. Next Monday will be different than any other, and I look forward to the fun!

Day for Fathers

Even though I have more than a few reasons to be called a father, today is an odd day for me. I have two Goddaughters, Erin and Molly, and I take my role with them very seriously. I also have Joseph, our little angel. But as folks in good spirit shook my hand, called and posted a Happy Fathers Day, I cannot fully accept it. I offer no disrespect to the three mentioned, but it's the one on the way that will fulfill this day in the future for me.

As I am days away from our first child, that we take home, I look around me for the examples I can follow. Many men have gone before me and done a great job, and a bad job. I want to do what is required to come out as one of the good ones. I am sure few, if any men go into this endeavor wanting to be the bad one. But want does it take to be the good one? Can I be as good, fair and loving as my Dad? Sure I love my wife, and I love my family, but this isn't enough. I pray that I will have what it takes, but prayer to be good is simply not enough either.

I pray for, and commit to work on, the following:

1. Patience. Patience for all the things my wife has to go through becoming a Mom. She is a beautiful person, and this road has been longer for her than one I could walk myself. I want to be there for her first, be the man she deserves, the man she can rely on, even when the baby is up in the middle of the night and we don't know what to do.

2. Patience. Patience for the little bundle that my heart pours joy for even now. I haven't met this child yet, but I know there will be difficult moments at the start. Crying, needing fed, and not being settled. I don't have the worlds longest fuse, and I don't work well when tired. I will need this patience when I am most susceptible, in the late hours. But, I also pray for patience for the next several decades. I know being not only a loving, but patient father will be needed over my child's lifetime. I know my parents patience was tested by me. I know I was difficult at times, but their patience has lasted 36 years so far, and now I can appreciate them even more during the approach to my becoming a father.

3. Patience. Patience for myself. I am my worst critic. I have been more difficult on myself than any other person possible. I know I will not do everything correct as a father. I'm sure, no father but the Father has been perfect. I don't plan on being the second. But, when I feel like I have failed, I need to be patient with myself.

These things I pray for, and will commit to this day. I look to my family, friends and wife for support. These tasks will not be easy, but I have not been more joyous to take on a challenge than I am right now.

Not far now Papa Smurf!

I can't help but write about the excitement I feel right now. In 12 days or so, my wife and I will have our baby, God willing. The sheer joy I felt on my drive in to work this morning was exhilarating. One note that crossed my mind is maintaining the joy. I know the baby will be a lot of work, and a lot of frustration. I just want to make sure I remember moments like now, a few weeks after the baby. I have no shortage of love for this kid, but I know the day to day of a first baby will be tough.

The wife and I often take a team approach to difficult things. Committing to talk first and be open about feeling so we don't get frustrated with each other. This will definitely come in to play with the baby. I'm not naive enough to think we can avoid some of the common trappings, but we should be able to give this baby our all, and become closer as a result!