Chicken Wings

 

He buddy, thinking about you a lot over the weekend. Can't believe you would be driving now. Your sister is excited she may have her learners permit at the end of the year, time sure flies. 

On your birthday, your Mom and I went our for a fun lunch date. Oddly enough, and unplanned we ended up eating lunch right next to the hospital you were born in (your siblings too). This was bittersweet luck for us both. Who knew having some locally famous chicken wings could bring us right back to you on your birthday. But then again, I should not be surprised, it WAS you birthday after all, you always seem to say hello in your own way on that day.

Love to you from all four of us, keep looking out for us. 

Until we meet again, I always love you.

Dad

Losing You

 

Love and miss you every day JDM. 15 years is crazy, sometimes it feels like it was last week when we met you, and sometimes it feels like it was 30 years ago. I was talking with your sister about you the other day, and how without you we would not have them. That is a bittersweet thought. Glad you are there looking down and giving us support. I m not getting younger, but you will never leave my heart.

Losing it

by Rush

The dancer slows her frantic pace

In pain and desperation

Her aching limbs and downcast face

Aglow with perspiration

Stiff as wire, her lungs on fire

With just the briefest pause

The flooding through her memory

The echoes of old applause.

She limps across the floor

And closes her bedroom door...

The writer stare with glassy eyes

Defies the empty page

His beard is white, his face is lined

And streaked with tears of rage

Thirty years ago, how the words would flow

With passion and precision

But now his mind is dark and dulled

By sickness and indecision

And he stares out the kitchen door

Where the sun will rise no more

Some are born to move the world

To live their fantasies

But most of us just dream about

The things we'd like to be

Sadder still to watch it die

Than never to have known it

For you, the blind who once could see

The bell tolls for thee

The bell tolls for

For you the blind who once could see

The bell tolls for thee...

The bell tolls for thee...

Fourteen

 

Fourteen years ago, and it's Valentines day again, your birthday. I was driving to Home Depot this past Saturday to get some ear muffs for your Mom for a Monster Truck show that night with the kids. I also had to grab some items for your brother's Pinewood Derby, his last in Cub Scouts. On the way to the store, the Pearl Jam song Just Breathe came on, a live version. I have a strong emotional connection to you through this song, but I can listen to it nowadays without as strong a reaction as in the past. Well, that was not the case this day. I don't know if it was the live version, or that we were just a couple days from your birthday, but I was overwhelmed by the song. As I cried during the song, I had to sit and listen to you for a few minutes before I could walk in the store. I am sure the contractor that pulled in next to me wondered what was going on, probably not, but it was awkward. Thanks for saying hi, as I feel this was a little remnant of you reaching out the week of your birthday. Love and miss you JDM, wish we could have gotten to know each other better. Keep on looking out for us.

Never not a hard day.

 

Valentines Day, never not a hard day. You brother and sister are saying a small prayer for you today, and you know your mom and I will. You would be 13 today. Miss and love you, keep watch over us.

Aquarius

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you buddy. I can’t believe you would have been 11 today. Not a day. But, with your brother and sister around, the days are easier. They pray for you and both wish they had you for a big brother. I think your sister wishes for a big bro most. Just today she said she would boss you around, lol! I couldn’t be the dad I am without you, and holding you in my hand. 

Happy birthday JDM. 

 

St. Joseph

Nine years. Nine years of wishing you were here buddy. I am blessed with a beautiful family, and having you as a guardian angel, but wish I could have known you. I hope you are up there making ML smile like your Brother did so many times. Couldn't end the day without saying hello, you've been on my mind a lot recently, but that's February. Love you JDM, Dad.

Start Now

Start Now.

Really a simple phrase. I've been stalling on my blog for a while now, and need to re-commit. I like the exercise of writing, and want to begin anew. I think weekly thoughts and musings would be a great start. Look out for a little more.